


It Can Never Be Enough

by everydayescapeartist



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Catching Fire Spoilers, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 03:43:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everydayescapeartist/pseuds/everydayescapeartist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the Quell, Finnick and Peeta share a few words during their shared watch after Katniss goes to sleep.</p>
<p>Visual Prompt:  The Beach</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Can Never Be Enough

I walk back over to where Finnick is keeping watch and sit back down just a couple feet from him, keeping my eyes trained in the directions he is not covering. We sit in silence for a few minutes and then he speaks quietly but I can hear the mirth in his voice.

“Sorry about that.”

I nearly snort. “Sure you are.”

“No, I am, man. I should’ve feigned drifting right back to sleep and I could’ve had a front row seat to some even juicier star-crossed lovers action, I’m guessing.”

“You’re guessing wrong.”

“Sure I am,” Finnick mocks my retort of a few seconds ago.

I wonder though. Would Katniss’ and my little impromptu make out session have gone much further? I know she was trying, very diligently I might add, to keep me from continuing with my line of thinking about how this is all likely going to turn out and what I still want for her future. But beyond the distraction tactic, there was something about these kisses that was different…well, aside from the fact that our hands were really starting to roam tonight and they haven’t done that before. I felt a hint of the same thing back in the cave last year, right before Katniss’ head wound started to bleed and I made her lie down to rest. What was it? What set it apart from all the other kisses we’ve shared…in the cave, during our interviews and on the tour?

If I had to name it in a few words, I’d say “connection,” “heat,” and…”real?” Could these two lengthy kisses we shared have actually been real? Where she genuinely wanted to kiss me and didn’t want to stop? It’s possible, I think, especially for this last one. After the time we’ve spent together of our own volition and after she allowed me to cherish us in my way on the roof the other day, after I nearly died in this arena…several times, and after what we’d said to each other before she locked her lips to mine tonight, maybe she feels something more now…which would be _excellent_ timing of course. Sigh.

Before the lightning strike and Finnick interrupted us, her kiss had felt needy, greedy, impassioned. It had felt heavenly, like the granting of a dying man’s last wish. Appropriate for our situation.

“You’re over thinking it.”

“Huh?”

“Sure, it’s a little odd to get used to knowing everyone is watching you on camera…”

Now, I want to snort again. That’s all Katniss and I have been used to since our first games.

“But you don’t need to feel ashamed for kissing or doing anything more than that with, well, your wife, as it turns out.”

Ah. Yes. The audience would of course wonder why I would deny more was going to happen. Thank you, Finnick, whether you know how you’re helping or not.

“I know. But that would make us just a little bit more vulnerable to attack, don’t you think? I wouldn’t do that to Katniss or the baby. And besides, we’ve…well, we’ve been cherishing our last days together before we got here.”

Great. I’ve essentially implied to Finnick and the audience, including our families, that we’ve been at it like rabbits of late. Sorry, Katniss. But then again, it’s kind of what I implied anyway with that little bomb I dropped at our interview. Babies don’t actually come from storks, after all.

“Well, that’s good to hear,” he replies with a slight smirk. And then he pauses, his lips slip into a straight line and his eyes grow distant for a moment. “You have to cherish all you can with those you love. You do the best you can even if you know it can never be enough. You try your best to care for them and make sure they understand just how much you do feel every time you look at them, every time you’re with them and especially those times when you’re not.”

It’s like when he read his poem to the audience during his interview. He’s speaking in generalities but this time, he’s not so charismatic or dramatic. There’s less flare and I wonder if…no, scratch that, I know that he’s speaking from his own experience of love.

Annie. The girl whose screams hours earlier brought him to his knees, paralyzed and helpless. They both survived the games before too, in their respective years, but it hasn’t done them much good either. I feel more than a pang of guilt as I think that maybe he and his love would be with each other right now if Katniss and I hadn’t done what we did with the berries in the first place or if we had been convincing enough on our tour. But then another part of me knows that this would have happened anyway, whether this was really the outline of the Quarter Quell preserved in that box for the past 75 years (which I wouldn’t bet my other leg was the case) or not. Snow has a need to enforce his power. The games show much of it but they also show the power in the one individual who wins, or two in our case. He was bound to retaliate against his growing pool of threats at some point.

I look over at Katniss, sleeping peacefully for now. The lines of her face are relaxed, her small frame curled up. Snow never could have seen her coming. I did though. At least, I knew of the effect she could have and I knew of her strength and her will to survive. Furthermore, I knew of her will to make sure those she cared for survived. I just didn’t know I’d end up being one of those persons. And I certainly didn’t know that together we’d inspire others to rebel.

I have the urge to ask Finnick about Annie, how she became his love, how things were between them before the reaping, how he said goodbye. But I know by putting the pieces together of all I’ve witnessed of him from the Capitol to what I saw happen in the jungle with the jabberjays and after that he holds that love too close to his heart to share such details with me, let alone all of Panem. And he is protecting her, as I am trying to protect Katniss. I couldn’t keep Katniss out of these games though and Finnick could do that for Annie, with Mags’ help. Some selfish part of me is grateful that I do have Katniss here right now so that I can still have some (albeit disconcertingly small) control over her health and safety. What would it have done to me if I’d been in that jungle hearing her screams?

Prim. I pray that all I said is right. It makes sense to me that they couldn’t do anything with the world watching and expecting family interviews and Beetee backed me up from the technology end. But we just can’t know for sure. I can’t promise anything for sure. Katniss and I are the only district partners that are still both alive. I am still inwardly reeling from the fact that I _am_ still alive despite my traitorous body’s inclination otherwise. I glance back at Finnick who has grown quiet right along with me since he made his mini-speech. I don’t know what exactly motivates him but I do know that he has intervened between me and death more than once in this Quell, once at the expense of his mentor and friend.

Mags. Was it just an acceptance of age and mortality coupled with a grandmotherly protectiveness that made her step back into that fog? And if I’m really thinking about this, there was the morphling too. Why did she jump between me and that monkey? How can I repay these souls that have sacrificed for me. They had to know that my plan is to sacrifice myself when the time comes so that Katniss can live. The whole country knows how I feel about her, even if she may still not have fully grasped it herself. I know there can be no double victory this time. There’s much that doesn’t make sense and I just have to keep going with my plan to save Katniss if I am able. But it doesn’t mean I am not grateful.

“Hey Finnick,” I begin, waiting for him to turn his attention to me again. ”Thank you…for saving my life.”

He nods and regards me thoughtfully for a moment. Then, the familiar Finnick smile appears on his face, the one the Capitol knows well…the mask. I know what one looks like; I know it too well.

”Think nothing of it, unless you want to think about what a great kisser I am.”

Despite the seriousness of my thoughts tonight, this makes me chuckle. ”Actually, I don’t want to think about that at all.”

He laughs at my response but still does me one better. ”Don’t worry. I didn’t cockblock you with the intent of taking over where your wife left off.”


End file.
